Everything I ask for...

You give me ten times more. Because You are God, and You are good.

For eighteen years of my life I struggled with religion and figuring out what exactly I believed in. Neither of my parents are religious so I wasn't really getting any encouragement there, and when I went to church with my grandparents I didn't really enjoy myself. But then I started going to youth group and although it was hard feeling like I fit in, I had a lot of fun. I had some frustrations because it seemed like all of the other kids there knew how they felt about God and had all of this faith and I just felt like I shouldn't be there because I was still searching. But this spring, when I was struggling with school and being away from home, Jordan gave me the push I needed. He gave me a bible to read, took me to his youth group, and encouraged me to believe. And that is the greatest gift that anyone could have ever given to me. I am still struggling, a lot, but I feel so much better, and I feel like I found something that I'd been missing. And it's amazing the things that God has done for me in these past few months, how many times he's answered my prayers, and gone beyond that. I feel so loved, and complete, and happy.

Life is good.

Soda or Pop?

What do you call it?

Plans. Plans plans plans. It seems like I have a lot of them right now, and because of that time is flying by. I want it to slow down, for the rest of this summer to pass like molasses. Except for when I'm at work of course, and then it can go much faster. But it seems like summer just started, and now it's almost time for me to go back to Coe. I feel like I really found myself this summer, I've figured out what I want in life, and I've found the people that I truly want to be around, and the rest I've kind of cleansed out of my life. This summer was a good one for me, and definitely much needed. I've had a blast during my free time and made so many new friends, my favorite of which I'm very sad to leave. But really, where has the time gone? Will the rest of my life be like this? I'm afraid that it will be and before I know it I will have missed most of my kids' childhoods and I will be old and decrepit, knitting in a chair. I want to live life to it's fullest and I feel that I'm missing out on that somehow. Even though I'm having lots of fun, I still feel like I'm missing something...

I found my palm pilot

and I'm way excited. I really enjoy playing around with it, and it makes me feel a little more powerful, or important. Except I put my memory card in it so I could look at my pictures and it's incredibly slow. But that's ok, it's not like I have anything better to do...

I went on my jog this morning and on the way back to my house I saw a turtle and rabbit on the side of the street. And guess who was farther ahead than the other one? You guessed it ladies and gentlemen, the turtle. It's times like that where I wish I had a camera permanently attached to me, so I could have some really awesome picture demonstrating the story that we all heard when we were little kids. So that really made my morning.

Jordan and I cleaned my bathroom yesterday (because it was a very not clean bathroom) and weird as it may seem, I actually had a really good time. I sorted through all of my junk, got rid of some (but certainly not all) of it, and felt much better. There's just something about a clean bathroom that I love, I'm just never motivated enough to keep it clean. But needless to say, I was very excited to take a shower in it last night. And I think it was a good experience for Jordan and I because it showed that we can do those kinds of things together, and actually enjoy it.

We then proceeded up to game night, which was very very fun and once the pictures get posted I will certainly share. We played some football and ultimate frisbee which really didn't work because we didn't have enough people, but I still enjoyed myself. Then we got some stuff figured out for our trip to Chicago and Six Flags and I just CANNOT wait! It will hopefully be a really good weekend with some really good friends. And next weekend, which is my birthday, I'm hoping we're able to hang out at Kim's lodge and celebrate, and hopefully my friends from Coe can come down and visit me. I'm really looking forward to these next few weeks.

And before I know it...I will be back at Coe. Which I am really excited for because I can't wait to meet the freshmen in my CAP group and move into my room, but I know that I'm going to miss everyone from home so much. I think it may even be worse because I've really spent a lot of time this summer with the people that mean the most to me, and it has been (for the most part) very stress free. One source of stress in my life right now is my dad though. I don't know what's been going on with me lately, but I've just been very up and down on how I feel about him and I've snapped at him at work more than once, and it always suprises me. I feel really bad because he used to be the one that I loved spending time with. I don't think having a job with him is a very good idea. And he also doesn't understand the situation with the loans that mom and I are trying to figure out, but he always asks, and I have to explain the same thing multiple times because he doesn't get it. And I know he would help out if he could but he and Julie are basically broke, and they will probably be like that until the day they die because Dad has never had any sort of savings, and just goes on with life, not worrying about money, which suits him just fine. It's just that Mom is helping me a lot with college by carrying one loan for my freshman year and she's helping me find financial aid for this coming one, and I just think it would be a nice thing to do if Dad could help out a little bit but I completely understand why he can't. And as you can see, I have a lot of thoughts in my head right now...just thought I'd share. But I'm off!

It must be nice...

to have parents that will pay for your college. And I'm not being mean or anything, I mean it. It would be so much less stressful, and you wouldn't waste so much time. Now don't get me wrong, I realize that I am MUCH better off than the average person, and that it was my own silly choice to choose to go to one of the most expensive colleges in the state. All I'm saying is that it's still really tough, and I have zero understanding of all the things I'm reading about. LIBOR, percent APR, subsidized loans, unsubsidized loans, private vs. government, Sallie Mae, deferral periods. Sure, I know the definition of most of these words, but I have no idea what the information they're giving me about these things means. I do understand, though, that whoever you get your loan through makes a KILLING off of your interest. So I have no idea why these banks and stuff keep going bankrupt...shouldn't they be making a lot more money than they're lending out? But again, I know nothing about this so I suppose I'll just shut my mouth. All I really wanted to say was that I've maxed out all of the federal student aid options and now I'm just left to find...something else.

So my weekend was way good. I got to spend lots of time with Jordan, and I celebrated Rachael's big 20th birthday with her on Friday, it was a blast. I always forget just how much I love my friends until there I am, hanging out with them. They are just sooooo much fun, and they don't care if I do something stupid. I feel bad for the friends that I used to take for granted because they're the reason I am who I am today, and why I did all the things I did. So if you are or ever were a friend of mine, thank you, and I love you.

Back to what I was saying before though, it was a very good weekend, and I had lots of fun spending a whole day with Jordan. It made me realize that I could spend a much longer time with him and be very happy. :) We visited the Rock Island Arsenal because we had some time to kill and I'd never been there, and it is so cool! I would like to go back someday because we didn't have a whole lot of time to look around, and I don't really know what was going on with everything, so it would be nice to go back sometime and explore. There has to be so much history in that one place, and it makes me think of all the things I would like to see in my lifetime, and I realize that I have a VERY long bucket list...oh boy. Maybe I'll put it on here sometime, but not today. My break is just about up. So...hope you enjoyed (whoever it is that may have read this) and have a good couple of days.

Numero Uno!

To start off, I would like to say that I had a blog once, and I really enjoyed writing in it. And then I didn't write in it for a while, forgot the username/password, and it is now lost to cyberspace because there is no way of searching for a blog on this site. Yay!

Alright, I was perfectly content with not having a blog because then I don't have to keep up with it and I won't feel bad if I don't update but...I gave in. I do kind of miss having somewhere that I can just...blab. So here's my first post (of hopefully many). I thought I would just cover the rest of my summer, and then my adventures of helping out with Orientation week at Coe, and then just follow my life as a sophomore in college (ALREADY?! It's so weird). Yep, so there it is. And here goes my first blog:

Life's been pretty good lately, but nothing too exciting. I "work" most of the time, 8-5, Monday thru Friday and then spend most of my free time with Jordan, which is perfectly fine with me. My weekends are fun but waaaaaaaaaaaay too short, and before I know it I'm back at my BORING job again. So yeah, I don't think anything too exciting will be going on in my blog but hey, maybe someone will want to read it.

So I guess I should tell you a little about myself before I finish up (and really this should have been at the beginning, but I don't feel like moving it). I'm going to be a sophomore at Coe College this year, which is in Cedar Rapids, Iowa (the armpit of the world. Thank you Quaker). I didn't realize how much I would miss it until I was gone, and a big part of me is ready to get back up there and see all of my friends. I hope to become a family doctor after all is said and done, but I've got about seven years to change my mind, and I've changed it a lot the past 18. I love it up there, but I'm guilty of coming home more than I probably should because I just can't stand to be away from my boyfriend, who is going to be a senior in high school. So yes, I'm back in Wilton...a lot. Which is wonderful. But I think that's enough about me for now...it's not like anyone is going to read this ANYWAY so I'm really just writing to myself. And I enjoyed. So, good job Jennifer! I like your blog.