Worship

I hate it when my parents argue. Because no matter what, because I’m the only thing common to both of them, I always get caught in the middle. I get the cold shoulder. I hear everything that’s wrong with the other parent. I get stressed out. Cry. I wish I didn’t have to be in the middle all the time, it sucks.

On a happier note, youth group was great last night. I love getting to go help out and see all of the kids. I usually work in the kitchen with Jordan, taking food orders, and I love doing it. But my favorite part definitely has to be worship. It’s so intimate and laid back that I feel I can worship freely. Which is how it should always be. Sometimes in church I feel like if I put my hands up and worship I’m going to be looked at funny, because not a lot of people in church put their hands up and worship God. It’s such a freeing experience though that lately I have just stopped caring what they’re going to think, which is how it should have been in the first place anyway. I was too self-conscious and cared too much about what people would think of me instead of just opening my heart and worshipping God. So worship is definitely my favorite part of going to church, I just feel like I’m that much closer to Him. I’m giving him his own personal concert. The only problem is that it usually takes me a while to get into worship mode, and it’s usually dependent upon the song that we’re singing, which isn’t how it should be. Even if it’s a song I’ve never sang before, it’s not the words that are important but instead it is the emotion, what you’re feeling at that point. And you shouldn’t have to have a certain song to make you feel close to God or emotional. You should be able to open up that connection between yourself and Him at whatever point you decide to. I’m still struggling with that but I’m slowly getting better. I feel His presence around me more often now, and it’s a great feeling. Like right now, while I’m writing this and am still upset about my parents, I feel his arms around me, wrapping me in love and letting me know that it will all be ok. And I believe it, I’m calm once again. Thank you God for the zillionth time you’ve calmed me down.

Oh no, you never let go through the calm and through the storm. Oh no, you never let go, in every high and every low. Oh no, you never let go, Lord you never let go of me.

And as a closing remark, you should go buy a Blizzard at DQ today! For every Blizzard that’s purchased today they’ll donate $1 to the Children’s Miracle Network. I don’t know exactly how much they donated last year but I feel like it was $81 million or something like that. I think this is a great thing to do because not only are you helping someone who’s sick, but you’re helping a sick child. And that’s a great thing to do, and something I hope to do in my future. Perhaps becoming a pediatrician is what I want to do with my life. Who knows, I have a while to decide.